Surrender To Joy

On a warm June morning in 1985, I attempted suicide- the first time. 

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At the age of 21, filled with hopelessness and despair, I dumped six bottles of sleeping pills onto my bed. I had a glass of water sitting on my nightstand. I grabbed one handful of pills after another and swallowed them all. Thank God my mother drove me to the hospital in time to get my stomach pumped. I was released the next day.  

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I made my second attempt three months later. I repeated the same scenario, except this time my father drove me to the hospital. And this time I was committed to an institution. 

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I had been a victim of childhood bullying and my self-esteem was extremely low. I had struggled with depression for years and I couldn’t seem to help the feeling that there was something wrong with me; I just wasn’t good enough. 

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My journey to love has been filled with amazing ups and incredible lows. I’ve traveled extensively and had remarkable experiences that stemmed from my work as a model, but I had to learn that it is not “activities” or accomplishments that make us whole. 

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The only thing that really matters is love and love must start from within. 

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Now I rest in a spirit of peace and joy when I practice spiritual principles found in A Course in Miracles whose preface states, 

“Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.” 

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What this means is that the only thing that is real is the love. Everything else is based on fear, which ultimately dissipates because on a core level, negativity is an illusion. 

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Now, my mission is to clarify the transformational benefits of A Course in Miracles. 

 

My purpose is to help you connect to your authenticity and brilliance.

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My passion is God. 

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God is love and joy and beauty. He is all that is good in the world. Everything else is our own miscreation. When we are filled with joy, we are connected to God. When we are not joyful, we have lost our connection to all that is real. 

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This is my message. It can be clarified with three simple words. “Surrender To Joy.” 

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There is nothing to find; all we need to do is surrender.

 

I have been an A Course in Miracles teacher/student for over 30 years. I have facilitated study groups and given numerous seminars and podcasts. I can attest to the fact that this course of study is a clear path to peace and joy. 

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I found A Course in Miracles at the age of 25 when I attended a Marianne Williamson lecture in Manhattan. It was the first spiritual thought system that resonated with me on a deep level. The truth of what Marianne was saying spoke to every fiber of my being. 

 

My coming book “Surrender to Joy….From Suicide to Serenity” is based upon the principles of A Course in Miracles. It is a practical, honest, clear, and humorous guide to connecting with our true nature. Our true nature is one of joy that guides our lives when we allow it to.  I hope you'll subscribe below for news on publishing and appearance dates.

 

We don’t have to struggle to find peace, joy, and happiness. The only thing that we need to do is to surrender to what is and stop blocking it.

 

Each chapter of my book is about a different block to joy. We need to become aware of when we’re blocking our joy so we can choose again. 

 

My book starts out when I was in a place of complete darkness. 

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You can preview an excerpt from the introduction to Surrender to Joy here.